Earlier this week, I was sharing my joy around an exciting life change with a friend and she said something that really struck me.

“Two years ago, I don’t think either of us would have imagined this is where your life would be now.” 

This is a friend who saw me find out just how quickly we hit rock bottom when we compromise on our values and settle for far less than what we deserve out of fear and insecurity.

Hitting rock bottom is hard.
Realizing you are there because of your own decisions is even harder.
Learning how to climb out of that place (and unlearning the habits that got you there) is the hardest part of it all. 

When we talk about self-improvement, we don’t always talk about the self-abandonment that it often requires, and the pain that comes with leaving behind a version of yourself that no longer serves you.

At first, I looked back at that version of me with shame and resentment. But now, I understand that she, too, was just doing the best she could.

And while she was too focused on just surviving to imagine having what I do today and, more importantly, feeling the way I do today herself, some part of her must have imagined it for me.

Because despite knowing she wasn’t the version that would reap the benefits, she began that climb. 

Today, I feel neither shame nor resentment towards her.
Just gratitude.